


Karkat and Dave have a goddamn troll-baby

by FreakoftheAngels



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Children, Children of Characters, F/F, Family, Fluff, Hilarity Ensues, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Other, Parenthood, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, after a shit ton of time after the end of the game, i think it counts as fluff?, its pretty sappy, parenting, some drama here and there, they have an ectobaby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4607652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakoftheAngels/pseuds/FreakoftheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a couple centuries, the players decide to have babies. Dave and Karkat are the last couple to join the ectobaby party after much consideration. The following is what happens afterward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We did it

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah here it is. My first fanfic. Please feel free to comment and critique. Enjoy my sappy-ass first chapter.

“So,” Dave mumbled under his breath, looking down at the napping bundle in his arms, “We really did this, huh? We used ectobiology to make a goddamn human-troll hybrid.” 

He was using his thumb to trace the outline of the new baby girl’s sleeping face. She had fallen into a deep slumber shortly after being fed for the first time, only minutes after Roxy had helped create her earlier that evening.

Karkat scoffed and walked over to the bed where his husband sat, beaming at him. “Are you talking to yourself again or what, dumbass?” His husband chuckled. He didn’t look up at him, but Karkat could see the goofyass grin on his face as he gazed upon the newborn. Karkat was amused by how unbelievably captivated he was. That Dave Strider, The Knight of Time, an almost-god who had helped lead civilizations and cultivate galaxies, was fascinated by such a small little thing.

“I just still can’t believe it, Karkat.” He hugged her closer to his chest, planting a soft kiss to her forehead. “We have a kid, a real fucking kid that we get to raise and love and shit. And she looks like us too, it’s so awesome.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Of course she does, idiot. She’s genetically fifty percent you and fifty percent me. Why does that surprise you?” When he sat down on the bed next to him, Dave finally looked up and Karkat’s heart skipped a beat. Dave wasn’t wearing his shades, so Karkat could see how overjoyed he was through his eyes. As if the smile didn’t make it obvious enough.

Dave shrugged in response to his question. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just something people make a fuss out of when they have a baby. Like, ‘holy shit she has her mother’s eyes!’ or ‘I think I see a bit of your brother in him!’ kind of deal.”

Karkat snorted at the thought of such a thing. “It’s been about thirty thousand years since I first was exposed to human culture, and yet I continue to be amazed at the silly things you guys fawn over.”

“Meh. I don’t know. I mean, I think it’s just nice, ya know? It’s almost like proof. Proof that we made this little sucker. Like, anyone can look at her and be like, ‘Oh yep that’s Karkat and Dave’s kid alright. Looks just like them.”

Dave glanced down at the baby again. “Plus, like I said, I still can’t comprehend that we have a daughter now. This is such a huge milestone in people’s lives. Like holy fuck is this a big deal.”

Karkat sighed and leaned against him, trying to get a better view of her sleeping face. “It’s a big deal to me, too. Granted, my own species is inexperienced at handling wrigglers, but this is our little wriggler, right? That counts for something.”

And Karkat meant it with every ounce of his existence. Much like the other trolls and humans, life had grown a bit dreary after the new generation of trolls took off, along with the humans who had survived Earth’s near end. After a while, all they had to do was maintain the peace and be idolized by their followers and admirers. Nothing too difficult. It was only several centuries later that the option of parenthood became appealing. Children who they could raise as their own and share their life with. And they were the last couple to do this.

Dave turned to Karkat and held the baby out to him. “You can hold her, if you want. She’s yours, too.”

Karkat tensed up, but he didn’t move away. “Are you sure about that? I really, REALLY don’t want to fucking drop our wriggler on its head or some shit like that.” He laughed nervously. 

Dave snickered. “You’ll be fine. Just position your arms like mine and hold her firm and gentle. There ya go, like that.”

_Holy shit, I’m doing it,_ Karkat thought to himself, _I’m holding her._ He inspected her little face as she continued resting. Karkat couldn’t help but note that she did seem like a good blend of their physical traits. Her hair was definitely troll hair, as it was coarse and yet strangely soft like his own and he could see two little nubby horns sticking out. She also appeared to have troll claws and teeth, the latter only visible when her mouth was open since they were not quite as big as a regular troll’s. However, she had Dave’s red eyes and albino skin, and her anatomy resembled that of human offspring, albeit a bit smaller due to her being half wriggler.

“She’s…beautiful, i-isn’t she?” Karkat stammered. “She has a nice mix of human and troll features, doesn’t she?” He inhaled deeply, after realizing he had been holding in his breath, and it faltered slightly as if he was having trouble breathing. 

Dave tilted his head and squinted at Karkat’s face. “Dude, are…are you tearing up?”

Karkat shook his head, but he sniffled a little bit as he started to blather away. “No, no, no! I’m fine! I’m just, just…really happy. She looks so precious and she’s healthy and, well,…shit Dave she’s ours!”

Karkat looked up at Dave, and saw he was starting to snivel as well, a few drops falling down his cheeks. He brought up his arm in an attempt to wipe his eyes and cover up his tears of joy. “Fuck, Kitkat, you got me falling apart, too. It’s been forever since I’ve been such an emotional wreck.” He leaned over and planted a kiss to his forehead, placing an arm around his shoulders, hugging him. “But there’s no other two people in the world I’d rather be weeping like a sucker over than you two.” 

Before Karkat could respond, he felt movement inside the blanket burrito he held. The little baby-wriggler was finally wide awake, and was eyeing her parents curiously with her big, crimson eyes. She opened her mouth and gave out a loud squeak.

Dave sniffed. “Dang, that’s fucking adorable, dude.” He booped her little nose with his pinky, and she smiled up at him, making a sweet trilling sound. He smiled back. “She’s really something, huh?”

Karkat sighed. “Well, it’s been an hour since she’s been born, and she really needs a goddamn name. Still no fucking ideas? I know I don’t have any.”

Dave thought for a moment. “Mmmmm, I don’t know, Karkat. I was hoping that when she woke up I could like maybe get a better grasp of her personality? So I could think of the perfect name for her. But, so far, I’m still at a loss. No names really popping at me right now.”

“Well, no names stand out for me either. I never thought I’d get to name a wriggler, and my own for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, word.” Dave observed the child a bit more, as she struggled to escape the confines of her blanket. It was fun to watch her gnaw at the comforter, kick out her feet slowly, and paw at the inside of it. She was an active little guy.

“Oh! How about M.C?” He suggested.

“M.C? Isn’t that another word for a slam poet?”

“Yeah. But for instance, if she were to take my last name, not saying she has to though, her full name would be M.C Strider! Wouldn’t that be fucking cool? She’d be like hella ready to start dropping sick beats.”

Karkat snorted. “As fucking if! I shouldn’t have to say this, especially to you of all people, but forcing our wriggler to take part in an activity she may or not enjoy could emotionally scar her. Seriously, she doesn’t need the damn pressure.”

Dave pondered it. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Lord knows I didn’t enjoy having standards forced on me. But I got nothing else name-wise.”

Karkat groaned. He looked down at the unnamed child, and started petting her hair to make her calm down. Damn, she was antsy. “Ya know, that word M.C? It reminded me of a name I’ve heard before, in one of my novels. This one female troll who was such a badass warrior.”

He turned back to his matesprit and continued. “She was one of my all-time favorite characters because of how she was able to fight her way up the ranks, survive through combat, and find the kismesis of her dreams in a troll she thought was her enemy. She was able to live a full, Atlernian life in relative comfort despite being a low-blood.”

Dave studied his expression before replying. “And what was her name?”

“Misene. Misene Joster.”

Strider seemed to consider it, first staring at Karkat, and then at the wriggler who was now chewing harmlessly at Karkat’s thumb. She purred even louder when he glanced at her.

“Hmmmmm, sure why not.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow in question. “Really? You have no problem naming our troll baby after a character in one of my cheesy romance novels?!”

Dave shrugged. “It sounds like it was well-written. Or at least interesting. Plus it’s a rad name. Misene Strider,…or Vantas.”

Karkat smiled. “Fuck yeah! Misene Strider, Conquerer of Planets and Terror of the Atlernian Fleet!”

Dave grimaced. “Let’s take it easy there, Kitkat. Remember, no high standards.”

He nodded. “Right. Anyway, let’s feed this little bastard one more time before we go to bed.”

The troll handed the baby to Dave before walking over to a table across the room, where a bowl of mashed grubs and fruits waited. As Karkat brought it back to the bed, he could see Dave laying Misene down on the bed so she could try to crawl around. She was very good at it too, being able to scamper after the albino’s fingers as he waggled them out of her reach.

When Karkat rested down next to her to spoon feed her, Dave cleared his throat.

“Even though I get we shouldn’t give Misene the wrong idea about anything, do you think it would be so wrong if we just kinda nicknamed her M.C?”

“Sure, why not?”

Dave grinned, and both parents knew in that instant that having this little miracle was one of the better choices they had made in centuries. What could go wrong?


	2. Oh no something went wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this took forever to finally upload

She was gone. The baby was fucking gone. _Holy fucking shit_ the baby was gone.

It was morning. Dave had gone to answer an incoming call. Karkat went to check on Misene and feed her breakfast, but instead, he was standing there, frozen up at the sight of the empty crib. As the panic set in, he rushed over to it and rifled through the blankets and stuffed animals with trembling hands. 

“Oh no nononononono ohgod no this can't be happening.” He murmured. She couldn’t be missing! She could barely crawl last night, so she couldn’t have just got up and walked away! She had to be hidden in here somewhere! As his search became more and more frantic, Karkat noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and his heart stopped. 

The window was open, the lock torn apart.

Did this mean someone broke in? Did someone _kidnap_ her? Who the fuck would fucking nab a wriggler?! What the flying fuck would they do with her?! His hysteria increased significantly, and his heart started to beat again with renewed vigor. Karkat was starting to hyperventilate and tried to calm down, rubbing his arms as if he was cold. He might as well have been, with how much he was shaking. He needed to think clearly. How long could she have been missing? Shit, this explained why she hadn’t cried during the rest of the night. There was no way to tell exactly when she had been taken. The trespassers were probably long gone.

“DAVE!” he yelled. “I THINK SOMEONE STOLE MISENE! THE FUCKING LOCK ON THE WINDOW IS BROKEN.” He walked out into the hallway, only to bump into Dave, who had run there at full speed. Because of the brute force of the collision, both toppled down to the ground, Karkat on top of Dave. The albino was definitely seeing stars, but Karkat was too worried about their missing baby to feel pain. He immediately grabbed Dave’s shoulders and started shaking him.

“WE NEED TO GET THE OTHERS. WE’RE LEAVING NO FUCKING STONE UNTURNED! I’M GOING TO KILL THE FUCKER WHO THOUGHT HE COULD JUST FUCKING-!”

Before he could gallop out of the room, Dave grabbed his husband’s arm. “Woah there, Karkat!” he blurted, “Dude, calm down! Misene’s okay!”

Karkat spun around to face him. “What in the name of Jegus are you talking about?!”

Dave huffed. “Rose just called. They have her over at their place.”

Karkat stared at him in disbelief. “What the fuck is she doing over there?!”

“Well, apparently terrorizing local wildlife and wrecking shit in Kanaya’s backyard garden.” He chuckled dryly. “She managed to knock over multiple innocent trees.”

“So…she’s okay?”

“Currently in the care of Rose and Kanaya, so, yeah, pretty damn safe.”

Karkat exhaled in relief. It was impossible to describe how thankful he was that nothing terrible had befallen their wriggler. It was the first fucking night, how could shit get this out of hand?!

“Alright, now what?” He asked.

Dave shrugged. “I guess we figure out how to get Kanaya’s eucalyptus tree out of the foundation while M.C. gets her checkup from Kanaya.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave Strider, of course, found the entire situation incredibly hilarious. Well, the part about Misene escaping into the outside world without supervision was concerning, but she seemed to be undeterred by any of the local fauna, chasing them all over the place. In their hurry to get away from her, the beasts completely wrecked the Garden of Maryam, which Kanaya was able to create thanks to the rich soil on LOFAF. Both dads were very grateful the damage done to her prized garden was minimal. The two Knights were putting uprooted saplings back in the ground, and several carapacian monks who worked on the temple grounds were also cleaning up what they could salvage. 

But still, the fact that a goddamn newborn did all of it was absolutely ridiculous. In a way, he was kind of impressed.

“Hey, Dave! Are you fucking paying attention?!” Karkat hollered. He was kneeling down next to the tree’s roots, while Dave floated slightly above the branches. His job was to make sure the tree didn’t look stilted, but instead he was getting distracted.

“Sorry about that, dude. I was just thinking.” He replied. Dave backed up a bit to get a better view. “I think it’s straight.”

Karkat groaned and stood up. “Good. I want to go check on-UGHH.”

Dave immediately dropped down to ground level to see what interrupted Karkat. He discovered that not only did he apparently trip while walking backwards, he also tripped over their favorite little chess guy.

“Woah, you two okay?” On closer inspection, Dave saw both were alright, although it was the disgruntled troll that had taken most of the damage since he basically had flipped over the Mayor and hit his head. Thank god they were immortal gods, which meant they didn’t need to worry about head injuries from mishaps like this.

The Knight of Blood slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his skull. “Fuckin’ shit. Sorry about that, Mayor. Didn’t see you there. Weren’t you fixing the rose bushes out front?”

The Mayor shook his head and waved his little hands. Then he motioned towards the Lalonde-Maryam mansion while tugging at Karkat’s pant leg.

“So…guess Rose and Kanaya are asking for us, huh?” Dave asked. The Mayor responded by nodding urgently and gesturing that they needed to hurry before running towards the house. Karkat stood up slowly and stiffly, dusting dirt off his clothes. Both had their wardrobifier set to more casual clothes (good old t-shirt and jeans getup) instead of their usual godtier outfits. His eyes followed the carapacian as he moseyed off.

“It’s about fucking time.” He muttered under his breath. “I really want to find out whether not our pain-in-ass wriggler is healthy or not.” 

Dave chuckled. “She really is something, huh?”

“That's a gross understatement.” He mumbled as he began to walk towards the mansion, his hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched over. 

Dave frowned as he jogged behind him. Something didn’t feel quite right to him.

Once they went inside the house and they were in the kitchen, Dave put a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. “Umm, Karkat, just how angry are you right now?”

“I’M FUCKING FURIOUS. DO YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK?” Karkat snarled.

Dave was taken back by his response. “You don’t, like...regret this already, do you?”

Karkat turned to Dave. His expression softened when he saw the worried look on his husband’s face. “OH NONO NO!” he said hastily. “I don’t mean it like that! Shit! I mean, I had a fucking heart attack earlier today when I thought…M.C. got hurt or something. Actually, no, it was worse than a heart attack, like I would rather rip out my own heart than go through something like that again. This can't happen again.”

Dave smirked. “Yeah, there's no way in hell this is happening again. Misene is going on fucking lockdown, like Hannibal Lector in _Silence of the Lamb_. Only fifty times more cozy and twenty times harder to escape.”

Karkat heckled. “Only twenty? You sure that'll keep her in check?”

Both continued to laugh, until a loud crash came from down the hall. 

“Hey! Come back!” Called a familiar voice. Two seconds later, in scampered the little troublemaker herself, in a frilly red-and-white striped dress, white bloomers, and black little dress shoes. She even had a cute little red bow in her hair. Dang, Kanaya really outdid herself.

Dave couldn’t help but glance at Karkat to see his reaction. He seemed just as enthralled as he was, beaming at their daughter’s adorable outfit.

M.C. was still standing in the doorway, just staring at them with big bright eyes, so Dave kneeled down and held open his arms. Before he could say anything, like “Come to Daddy!” Or “Hey Sweetie!”, she squeaked in joy and ran into his arms, wrapping her little baby arms around his neck and nuzzling against his face.

Not two seconds later, Almere ran in, seemingly out of breath. “O-oh!” He stammered. “Hello, Uncle Dave!” He turned to Karkat and bowed at the waist. “Uncle Karkat.”

Al was Rose and Kanaya’s one-year-old son, and was the first of the children to be born. He was intelligent and well-spoken, just like his mothers. Unlike Misene, he looked more troll than human, having gray skin but blonde hair that looked almost white. Also he had only one horn that was hooked like Maryam’s. Overall, he was a nice kid.

He stood there, fidgeting his fingers nervously. “Um, I apologize. I was supposed to be watching over Misene while my mothers received something from the upstair rooms. It’s my fault she escaped.”

Dave stood up, still holding the cuddly baby in his arms. “It’s okay, little dude. M.C. here is a professional escape artist. You're not the first one she got the slip on.”

Karkat groaned. “All I'm wondering is how did she manage to break a fucking lock if she can barely walk?”

Al just shrugged, and proceeded to pull a small bag of packaged grubs. Crunchy cheese flavored. At the sound of the bag opening, Misene turned around, let out a little chirp, and opened her mouth in anticipation of a snack. Almere smiled, then tossed one her way. She caught it with little effort.

“Good to see you guys are buddies now.” Dave said as he tickled her under her chin. She giggled loudly and nipped at the assaulting fingers playfully.

Almere ate a handful of grubs himself, and spoke again once he swallowed. “Yeah, Misene was behaving very well, after we calmed her down of course. Feeding her helped. She got a bit antsy when she heard you come in, though.” 

“So she came out because of us?” Karkat asked.

“Awww, she remembered us, Karkles!” The Knight of Time jeered. He held M.C above his head in both hands as she wiggled her legs and squealed in joy. “You already recognize your daddies by their voices, huh little dude?” 

“She’s quite the little wonder, isn’t she?” A voice called from deeper inside the house. A few seconds later, in walked it’s source; Kanaya Maryam. Right beside her, holding some books of vague importance, was Rose, as well as the Mayor who had what appeared to be a feeding bottle.

 

Rose giggled. “I’m glad to see you’ve reunited with your grubling. She’s been quite the handful, to say the least. Even for a troll-human hybrid.” 

Dave smirked and ruffled his daughter’s hair, making it stand up a bit. She nipped at him and he responded by tickling her under her chin. “Yeah, sorry about that. We’ll do what we can to resurrect the garden.”

Karkat nodded and smiled at M.C, reaching out and caressing her tiny hand, while the other clasped at the neck of Dave’s shirt. “Isn’t she such a damn precious thing, Kanaya?” He said in a hushed tone. “She’s our special little wriggler.”

“Indeed. She’s lucky to have you two as her fathers.” Kanaya took in the picturesque image of Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas admiring their child with sweet eyes, and couldn’t help but smile joyfully. However, her expression sobered quickly, and she cleared her throat. “ And, she might be a bit more special than you initially thought.”

Karkat frowned and turned his entire body toward her. “What are you talking about? Did you find something weird?”

Kanaya inhaled and exhaled. “Before I say anything else, I want to say both I and Rose intend to help you find what you need to know. As is, we’ve already begun researching and looking through some texts for useful information, as you can probably tell.” She said as she gestured awkwardly at the books Rose held.

At this point, Dave had stopped playing around with Misene, and was glaring at both of them along with Karkat. His expression was hard as stone, but his furrowed brow gave away his concern and uncertainty, as did the way he held M.C closer to his chest as if someone would take her from him if he let his guard down.

After a minute of silence that lasted forever, Rose spoke up. “We probably should mention, there's nothing wrong with Misene, not necessarily.”

Karkat glanced at her, and then refocused his intense stare at the jade-blooded troll. The way they were beating around the bush made him tense. He slowly let out a breath and tried to speak as calmly as he could. “ Can you fucking please just say whatever you're going to say and give it to us straight? What's with all the suspense?”

Kanaya sighed. “ It might be better to just show you.” With that, she reached into her sleeve while talking. “We took her blood test and…”

She took out what seemed to be a small vial, but what was inside it made both their jaws drop. If there was one thing both Dave and Karkat had not expected, it was that the color in that vial would be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah a fucking cliffhanger?! great googly moogly!


	3. Sup bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I was busy doing important adulty thingies.

“So limeblood, huh?” Dirk asked as he searched through the boxes in his garage. 

“Yep,” Dave replied. He was standing patiently by the door, waiting for Dirk to pick up some junk from his work space. He was glad he could talk to Dirk on short notice while Karkat went to talk to Kankri. Rose and Kanaya couldn’t find much information in their library, and what they did find was too vague to answer any of their questions. The uncertainty was stressing Dave out a little, to be honest. He really needed to talk it out with his bro.

Dirk walked back out into the living room area where Dave was waiting. He was carrying a large cardboard box in his arms, supposedly filled with parts for a personal project he was working on. He spoke again. “I’m not much of a troll expert, but that's not normal, right?”

“Well, it's not very common, yeah. I'm pretty sure there are no other limeblooded trolls in this universe. And all the limebloods on Alternia were fucking wiped out and forgotten, but Kankri’ll probably know something.” Dave really hoped he did. He had to know something, he was a Seer of Blood for crying out loud. 

Dirk proceeded to walk out to the patio area of the mansion, Dave following close behind. They both sat on the steps that let into the backyard. Dirk and Jake’s house was furthest away from the others on Mt. Godtier No. 4, and closest to the jungles outside temple grounds.

The nice thing about LOFAF: because the universe had basically been born there, the whole planet was considered holy ground. No cities, towns, or any form of civilization besides the temple. None of the ruckus or hoopla of a million civilians. Basically, the perfect, safe haven to raise children, away from prying eyes. 

Dave might have to worry about M.C. running off into the jungle again, though.

Dirk took a screwdriver and some parts out of the box, and started to fiddle around with them. “Is there anything you guys need to worry about?” He asked. “I mean, trolls aren’t _that_ different across the blood castes, right?”

“Well,” Dave grumbled. “According to Karkat, sometimes lowbloods have fucking super powers and shit.”

“Oh,” Dirk said. “Like Captor?”

“Yeah, and limebloods are right next to his blood color. They were killed off for being pains in the ass to the juggalo kings or whatever. Highbloods were supposed to be tough as shit anyway, so how fucked up are these powers? Fucking laserbeams weren’t a good enough reason to pull a genocide. Neither was speaking animal or mind control. What if limeblood powers are hard to control or something? How do we keep her from hurting herself?”

“And hurting others?”

The Knight groaned. Yeah, that too. Dave didn't give a shit what color her blood was, that went without saying. But what if her life becomes harder because of this? What if she could hear the dead or some shit? What if she had weird psychic powers that could rot her own brain? What if she could fucking explode shit? What would stop her from blowing off her own legs?! Theorizing about what awaited his daughter stressed Dave out. He hadn’t known this kind of anxiety for quite some time.

But Karkat definitely felt worse than Dave did. It sent shivers down his spine to recall the troll’s initial reaction, a hurricane of angry shock and tearful hysteria. Almere got the hell out of dodge before the first scream got out. Misene jumped a little, but other than that she had seemed unbothered. Guess she felt safe in his arms, even with Karkat panicking next to them.

“Rose said everything would be totally fine, but I don't know if she really meant it or if she was just trying to stop Karkat from having a mental breakdown in front of our fucking kids. We spent a good three hours looking for something in their library, like a shitty brochure, at least. But nope, we found ab-fucking-solutely nothing.”

Dirk lowered his screwdriver and turned to him. “I don't think she would lie to you. I know Rose, she wouldn't lie if she knew there was something wrong.”

“But what if she didn't know?” 

Dirk put down his screwdriver and sighed. “Well, there’s no point in believing that there is something wrong when we don’t know yet. That's just going to make you and Karkat feel worse. You’ll just have to wait to find out if there really is any problem. Until then, the best thing to do is keep an eye on her.”

Dave nodded. “Speaking of keeping an eye on her, do you have any fucking clue where Jake and-”

“Hello again, Dave! Care for a drink?”

Both men turned around to see Jake English standing by the open door, dressed in his usual shirt and cargo shorts. He was holding two bottles of apple juice, one for each Strider.

Dave stood up and grabbed his. “Um, thanks.”

Dirk kept sitting on the steps, but raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Jake?” 

“Yes?”

“Where’s M.C.?"

“Oh! Rick wanted to show Misene around his room, so I sent them up with Nannybot so I could come talk you fellows for a moment. Admittedly, The little lady didn’t seem too fond of-”

**_CRASH_ **

Before the three of them could react, something big and heavy landed on the bottom of the steps, right next to Dirk. As expected of him, Dirk didn’t react to almost being smashed, while Jake stiffened and Dave swore loudly. _"Please don't be one of the kids, please don't be one of the kids…"_

He stepped closer, and was thankful to see it was not Rick or M.C. who had fallen out the upstairs window. 

Bad news was it was actually the Nannybot. 

Some movement could be heard from inside the broken window, followed by a “W-woah, WAIT!” and, before Dave could get a better look, something small hopped out, climbed down the side of the house like a squirrel, and landed on his head. Then the realization set in of _who_ had just landed on his head, and his jaw dropped.

“Well I’ll be damned!” Jake boomed. “That’s quite the acrobat you got for a daughter, Dave! When did she learn to do that?”

He shrugged, trying to not move too much while Misene clinged to the back of his head and sat on his shoulders. She was purring contently while nuzzling into his hair. Dave let out a breath. He couldn’t get upset at her when she was being so goddamn affectionate. “She definitely had some practice, escaping through windows I mean. More experience than she should have, considering she was born yesterday.”

“Holy hoofbeast! Hey Dad, can I do that?!” Dave looked up and could see Richard English-Strider poking his head through the broken window. He was a little skinny kid, with a trillion freckles and black hair that clearly didn't care about following normal hair physics. Dave used to think he was the most rambunctious kid in the entire universe, considering he couldn’t remember ever seeing the little trooper without band-aids on his knees or bruises on his arms. The little buster taking a rest stop on his noggin was giving Rick a run for his money though. 

Dirk frowned and pointed sternly at his son with the screwdriver. “Don't even think about it, Junior! Take the stairs like everybody else.”

Rick grumbled and retreated back into his room. A few minutes later, he was standing by Jake’s side, pouting. Jake grinned and ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry Ricky boy, you can jump out windows all you want once you learn how to do it right.” 

Rick seemed to immediately cheer up, smiled at his easy-going father and even waved happily at Dave and M.C., the latter still piggy-backing on the former. 

Dirk stood over the bot. “So I guess she didn’t get along with Nannybot, huh?”

Dave grimaced. “Yeah, sorry about that. If you want, I can get Equius to fix it for you.”

“Dude, don’t sweat it. Nannybot was build to last, believe me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t last a day with Reckless Rick over there.” He gestured toward his son, and then kneeled down next to it to get a better look. 

Jake walked up closer to where the robot landed as Dirk fixed it, while keeping Rick, who was still tailing behind him, away from the broken glass everywhere. “Sorry Dave,” Jake apologized. “ I would have kept a closer eye on Misene if I knew she was such a handful.”

“Yeah, shit, I probably should have said something. I didn’t know she would, uh..” Dave looked down to Rick. “What exactly did she do again? I know I didn’t ask before, but..”

“I was teaching her how to jump-kick!” Rick grinned proudly. “But she kicked Nanna instead of the dummy.”

“THAT was a kick?” Dave’s jaw dropped. “That robot was definitely at least five times her size, and she managed to push it out the fucking window. Just how strong is this little squirt? Are limebloods just really fucking jacked?! That...actually might not be too hard to deal with. At least, it would probably be better than her shooting fucking lasers out of her eyes.” Dave’s rambling was cut off by Misene’s loud purring.

“Yeah, yeah, you're still daddy's little girl,” He reached over his shoulder to pat her. “But, honey, Daddy's gonna have a mental breakdown too at this rate.”

He heard movement from behind him, and Dave turned around to see Nannybot getting up on its own, albeit a bit awkwardly, as if it was still disoriented from the fall. When it was finally on its stumpy robot feet, Dirk nudged it a bit to test its stability. “There. Good as new. She got a good hit in. Messed up his calibration a bit, but he'll be fine now.”

“Well, that's good to hear.” Dave levitated up gently, trying not to disturb Misene. “Hey, I'm going to head back home, alright? Karkat might be done talking to Kankri and it's almost M.C.’s nap time.”

“Alright.” Dirk waved goodbye, Jake and Rick joining in as Dave and his daughter flew off. “Remember my advice, okay?” Dirk hollered. “Don't overthink things!”

“Yeah, got ya dude.” With that, Dave soared up the mountain. He wasn't particularly high, mostly for Misene’s sake, but she was already drifting off anyway. Wanting to get a better view of the mountain, Dave flew a bit higher. 

The sun was already starting to set over the horizon, and Dave could see the godtier mansions. Not all of them, but a bunch of them. Not too far from the English-Strider household was Jane’s house, and a little further up was John and Roxy’s place. Even higher up was the Lalonde-Maryam’s, and the extragravant garden behind the house was almost restored to its original state from what Dave could see. Right next to their cut of land was Home Sweet Home.

And the lights were on inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story. This chapter was supposed to be a bit longer, but it's been so long I decided to post it as is. I'll try to put out the next chapter hopefully sooner. Although I'm considering writing a short other thing as a short break, and then getting back to this.
> 
> EDIT: Ok, this is embarassing... but yeah this may go without saying, but I don't think I'll continue this. And if I ever do, it'll be very lighthearted and also because people absolutely demanded it. But even then, I'm just not feeling it, especially because homestuck ended and I kinda find it weird to be writing in so much new noncannon stuff and OCs. But oh well. Hopefully in the future I write new fanfics, and I actually do have some ideas. Get back you yall soon.


End file.
